Back Again

It’s been way too long since I have posted anything on here.  but I am feeling frothy so I thought I would post on here.  In fact, I don’t really know what frothy means, it actually just makes me want a cappuccino, or a chai or something.  Okay well enough of that goofiness.

Life is not necessarily at all where I thought I would be at this age, but what can you do but just keep moving on.  I have really come to realize that the only way to live is day by day, say even moment by moment.  I just finished reading the book the Shack, and it is amazing.  I would recommend it to anyone to read it because It really helps you understand things a lot  clearer.  anyway there is a part where it talks about how when we look into the future, we rarely see God there.  So to live day by day is to constantly put our trust in the almighty for our lives.  I am finding that life is more enjoyable if you live in the moment.

we always say things like, “I can’t wait to see what God is going to do” or “The Lord really has great things in store for us”. which are all true, but when are we going to stop and realize that God IS doing really great things, and we can see what He is doing around us NOW!  So let us live in expectancy of what the Almighty can do, but let us not live with some kind of preconceived expectations that usually come from ourselves, and usually are let down in the end.

update on what’s going on in my life

so a lot has happened in a little time.  I am just a few weeks away from moving to Huntsville, AL where my sister lives.  I don’t know what is in store for me there, but I do know that God will guide me, and that all will be well.  

Something else is that I have met an amazing woman!  Her name is Kerri,  and I just can’t get enough of her.  I know that the Lord has brought us together, and I know that He has awesome plans for us.  I can’t wait to see what He does.  She is so beautiful, and wonderful, and I think about her all the time, and I just want to spend all of my time with her.  I could go on, and on about her, but I won’t.  I am just thankful that she is in my life.

New Song, and New Band

so my friend Matt and I are starting a little group called Rufus Barbae.  That is Latin for “Red Beards”.  We are wanting to play at coffee shops and other places.  I really thing this is going to be a great thing.

Anyway, we have recorded our first song called “Other Side” It has a literal and figurative meaning.  The literal meaning is taking a trip through the mountains from Maryville, TN to Robinsville, NC.  the figurative is the trying to get to something that you know is better, but not being there yet, and finding contentment in the journey.  click below to listen

http://www.lightningmp3.com/live/file.php?id=12087

Life Is Good

so, I just want to talk a minute or two about some things that are going on in my life.  I am still in a good place spiritually.  One of my fears was that after my Colorado trip, that I would fall back into the gloom.  So far, It’s only gotten better.  I really feel like the Lord is giving me more opportunity to minister to people on a personal level.  It is so amazing to be in His presence.  It’s only by being in His presence that I can make it through this life.  He is so amazing, and worthy of praising!  I give Jesus Christ glory and honor and praise!

 I am moving on Friday, and I am really excited about it.  First, I am moving to Knoxville which is a little weird because I have never actually lived in Knoxville.  Second I am moving in with three guys that I have only met once.  I found out about it on craigslist.com which is an awesome place to find stuff.  Anyway, I am excited about the opportunity to get to know some more people, and to be used by God!

From Colorado…

so here I am in the middle of the rocky moutains in Estes park.  This is day 2 of the national vineyard worship leader’s retreat.  God has really been doing amazing things here in my heart, and in my spirit.  so if  you read my last post, you know that I struggle with this whole being single thing.  well this morning at the worship service, God totally ripped my face off.  after worship, several people prayed over me, and I received some serious words of prophecy from the Lord through the people that were praying for me.  I will be vague here. God just pretty much made known to me that I am good enough, it is just not His timing yet.  I know many have said this to me before, but God really broke through.  I was in His presence all day long, and into the night worship service.

The night worship sevice was equally awesome because I just let myself completely go in worship.  There was nothing but me worshipping God, and Him loving on me.  then we had small group, and I got to pray over this guy, and the Lord gave me some encouraging words to give to him.

So this is only day 2.  I look forward to what God is going to do the rest of the week.  I will update this to let you all know what God has been doing.

Oh and one more thing, the mountains are BEAUTIFUL!  there is snow everywhere, and the air is so clean, and everything is so quiet.  I love it here!

I’ve had enough…

okay so it’s 1:30 in the a.m. and I can’t go to sleep.  I am plagued by my thoughts.  I wish that I could get these feelings out of me.  I am sick and tired of wanting to be with someone.  I’m tired of sleeping alone.  I’m tired of not having anybody to come home to. I’m tired of no one randomly telling me they love me during the day.  I am tired of not having anyone to hold, cuddle, and watch movies with.  I’m tired of married people telling me to just get over it.  I’m tired of all the things that remind me of past girlfriends. I’m tired of being in this stage of life.  I’m tired of people who are married, cheating on their spouses.  I’m tired of people who are married that abuse their spouses.  I’m tired of people that are married that just don’t “love” each other anymore.  I’m tired of wondering why a lot of people who have this one thing and don’t want it, and I’m here wanting it so bad, more than anything else on this earth, and I don’t have it.  I don’t have even close to it.  I feel so undesirable.  I ask myself what the heck is wrong with me?  why doesn’t anyone want to be with me? am I that unattractive? am I that atrocious? Do I really have nothing to offer anyone? and the circumstances surrounding me suggest that the answer is yes, I am undesirable, yes, I am that unattractive, yes I am that atrocious, no I really don’t have anything to offer anyone. 

so those are my thoughts as of 1:30 a.m. saturday, january 19, 2008

New Year’s Resolution: To Be MySpace free!

Hello, my name is Chris.  I was addicted to myspace for years.  I am proud to say that as of January 1, 2008 I deleted my myspace account.  I feel so liberated.  There were several reasons that I chose to leave it.  First, I feel that I am getting too old to be on myspace.  Second, I was tired of recieving comments from people that had been hacked in to.  Third, I was tired of checking it every five seconds hoping I would hear from someone.  Fourth, I can blog on here (and so I am) so I don’t need myspace for that.  and Finally, the people I kept in contact with on myspace, I keep in contact with outside of myspace. 

 So, here I am, posting on my new blog place at fowlersforum.wordpress.com.  This is where I will talk about my frustrations, experiences, and any other random thing I feel like blogging about.  Not that anyone will ever read this blog, but they might…they just might…